Курси англійської мови Цей урок є авторською розробкою засновника проекту “English CO UA”, посилання на цей ресурс є обов’язковою умовою його використання з навчальною метою.
I. Questions for discussion
LOVE. Do you believe in first love? How many times can a human being love truly? Have you ever experienced an unrequited love? What was the solution? What does true love consist of? Can love be measured? From the scientific point of view what is love?
FRIENDSHIP. How many friends have you got? Do you classify them anyhow (close friends, acquaintances, colleagues)? Does friendship really exist or it is a matter of social structuring of free time? They say: “a friend in need is a friend indeed” but worsening economic situation makes a lot of people in need so helpful friends live only in a developed country, don’t they? Give grounds for your answer.
BUSINESS. What are the main principles any business should be built on? Can any business be carried out by friends? What about family business? Is a word of honour enough for business transactions? Being a teacher at many courses and private schools is a matter of unofficial employment, to be or not to be a teacher there, that’s the question. What is your answer? Do you agree to work full-time at a private school, but officially you have only one fourth of salary (25%)?
II. The principles of true relationship (applicable to love)
Match the description to the principle and express your opinion (+ yes, – no, ± partially)
| Principle | Description | Yes / no/partially |
| ALWAYS support | The thing is that there are NO right or wrong choices, they are just choices, you will never know what’s best in a long run anyway. | |
| SAY Compliments | And there is nothing to be ashamed of! When it comes to compliments, we all go weak in the knees… | |
| Take a Good Care | They forget to eat regularly, they forget to shower and change/wash/put away their clothes, they are so involved in doing more significant things that these little details just skip their attention. | |
| Learn to Cook Something | All people without exception like to eat well. And what makes your home the best place to go back to from work is… a nice home prepared meal! | |
| SHARE your ups and downs | We are living in a changing world and are to be experiencing negatives and positive sides of life. Surges and descends of the ocean waves mustn’t throw over a ship of the unity of those who are in relation. Sharing them all is a part of true relation. | |
| BEING together in every life circumstance | If there is a will, there is a way. Being together in a certain set of circumstances might be a poorer choice, but being apart should not be a question for consideration even if either better job opportunities are offered, or other relatives are strongly against the unity of those who in relation. | |
| COMMITMENT to prolong relations all life | Commitment comes from deep and sustainable love. If that is not the case, then two would be hesitating between controversial choices and never be happy together. |
III. TRANSACTIONAL PRACTICE. You need choose the best agreed (with your partner) pattern of transactions (there are three choices). Act it out in pairs.
| # | Situation | Stimulus <->Reaction |
| 1 | She says she wants to have a precious jewelry to boast about among her friends. Two dreams of her life: first, to have the man for life and a precious jewelry | 1.Super-Ego * |
| 2.Pragmatic ** | ||
| 3. Manipulative *** | ||
| 2 | She says: we cannot be together due to impenetrable barriers. We live in different towns; our family-like relations must be turned into rare meetings based on friendship. | 1.Super-Ego * |
| 2.Pragmatic ** | ||
| 3. Manipulative *** | ||
| 3 | They say that their business cannot be conducted further because of unfavorable investment climate in Ukraine. They are wrapping a representative office in the country and suspend the agreement. | 1.Super-Ego * |
| 2.Pragmatic ** | ||
| 3. Manipulative *** | ||
| 4 | One loves, another allows being loved. Situations are different, but the outcome is the same. (you can trace such a situation easily by checking the principles of true relationship). Imagine a situation like that. | 1.Super-Ego * |
| 2.Pragmatic ** | ||
| 3. Manipulative *** | ||
| 5 | Two friends want to travel to Egypt. One wants to make a journey at the expenses of the other. His partner is not yet ready to pay for two. | 1.Super-Ego * |
| 2.Pragmatic ** | ||
| 3. Manipulative *** | ||
| 6 | He has got ex-lovers and an ex-wife. They are ready to help, but their favours are not paid by money or gifts. The present wife is jealous. Currently they are living in different towns. | 1.Super-Ego * |
| 2.Pragmatic ** | ||
| 3. Manipulative *** | ||
| 7 | Two friends go to a cafe. One is unemployed; the other earns enough to pay the bill. Choose a presupposition 1, 2 or 3 which is typical of you. | 1.Super-Ego * |
| 2.Pragmatic ** | ||
| 3. Manipulative *** | ||
| 8 | A girlfriend and a boyfriend go out together. One parent of the boyfriend is against their relation. The mother refuses to eat and is going to starve herself to death unless he lets his girlfriend down. | 1.Super-Ego * |
| 2.Pragmatic ** | ||
| 3. Manipulative *** |
VIDEO FRAGMENT “Shocking truth behind the emotion”
What is the conclusion? Do you agree with this scientific point of view? How about triangular theory, isn’t it a better definition there? Three components of love, according to the triangular theory, are an intimacy component, a passion component, and a decision/commitment component. The amount of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three components, and the type of love one experiences depends on their strengths relative to them.
* Super-Ego, this presupposition is definitely of unconditional origin, best described: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs… It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” and “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.’
** Pragmatic, this presupposition is absolutely of pragmatic origin. It is not nurtured by emotions. There is an interaction on the level of two adults who understand the desires and strivings and are ready to make compromises. This presupposition is by its nature best for business relations. Hardly can it be applied to those whose emotions are involved.
*** Manipulative, this presupposition cannot imply seriousness as it is of manipulative nature. It can be exemplified by a joke that disguises a controversial statement which contradicts to the main principles of relationship. Such level of communication leads to a conflict of interests and shows incapability of solving a hard situation to mutual benefit. Nevertheless, the presence of manipulative transactions is a sign of either unrequited love or conditional relations where each (or one) seeks their own.